@2:22a/02/18/23: Nvmd, it is done: https://youtu.be/Dhf1uednulA

Jesse & Damian,

3ManCult is a paradigital band with a plan to release their first EP (song-by-song) beginning March 1, 2023.  But then shit hit the fan w/ balloons and cylinders.  Now the winds of opportunity are blowing a new direction – and we don’t want to f’up!!!

Note: We have no delusions of grandeur. Well… we probably do, but who doesn’t. The question at hand is more about having a plan, working a plan, and swinging for the fences – just because!!!

TIME FOR EVERYONE’S FAVORITE GAME: VIRTUAL BAND MANAGER

In this game, you’re advising the band on “officially releasing” their very FIRST SONG into the universe. Ohhhhh, but there’s a catch…

This happens to be a band of weird but otherwise average joes who collaborate on their songs in person and online. They also have a crazy fuk’n DIY plan to release their music (built from two awesome influencers they follow on YT) that they recently put into motion. Usually, you’d take no notice of them but – fate and synchronicity being what they are – just as you finish reading about all the UFOs that are appearing, this trio bursts into your office with the following story…

“We are 3ManCult… And to your first thought, yes: it IS a very cool band name, as it truly encompasses our pronoia-prime worldview of self-empowerment thru self-enlightenment…”

(oh shit… maybe if I’m just quiet they’ll leave)

“Otherwise, our band name has no relevance to why we’re here, or our music – except for ONE SONG…” [scary echo-reverb…]

To summarize the rest of their story, apparently these weirdos HAD something of a plan…

• “Musical Works” (songs/list) complete for first EP
• “Sound Recordings” mostly tracked and in post
• Primary music distribution and streaming accounts are setup
• Website is up-n-running with a free “on-brand” study guide
• Twitter is rolling w/a solid 17 followers (LOL!!!) and IG=0, FB=0, TT=n/a
• Plan was to drop the lead song from the EP on Mar.1 and the rest as properly timed subsequent releases

For having never released a song/ep before, they seem to have been doing some homework. As for the EP, they claimed to have picked their five strongest songs (with the best songs at 1 and 5) but they had planned to release the songs sequentially in EP order.

The leader continues excitedly, “…then suddenly, everything changed with all the recent UAV-UAP activity!!!”

“The what ??? Oh yeah, UFO shit.”

“Now we have a NEW opportunity…”

He hands you the EP song list and points to the middle song – Conspiracy – which they describe as a punk-tribute, borderline novelty song… and a situational potential suddenly pops into your head.

Everything DOES seem ripe for something outta left field right now, with all of this craziness around UFOs, spy balloons, and conspiracy theories. Why not give Americans a crazy theme song from a completely unheard of unsigned wanna-be band trying to self-produce and launch their own music? Even if the song isn’t all that great, it’d still be fun and would probably work to some degree…

Shaking your head, you look up and wonder where these thoughts come from.

They suggest, “We can drop a rough-cut version of Conspiracy now, and still release the extended-cut on the EP. It could work…”

In a genuine effort to disengage, you offer, “Look guys (or whatever you are) you don’t want to get type-cast as a novelty act. I mean the band name, the song…  ever heard of Gilligan’s Island? And that’s IF your music is even worth a shit, and IF anyone listens to it in the first place.”

Ignoring your obvious point, they each hold up three fingers and say in creepy unison , “WE have a contingency plan…”

The leader explains, “We can create a strategic diversion using another rough-cut song, which is slated for the SECOND EP – but we can drop it prior to (if necessary) because it’s completely different than Conspiracy, wont impact our first EP, and teases our second. It could work!!!”

Marginally impressed but still unconvinced, you lean back and ask, “so why come to me?”

“Because WE have been watching you, and YOU have good answers…”

“True. Okay, let’s hear the song.”

“Ahhh, well… see… that’s the thing: we’re kinda hyper-paranoid about anyone actually hearing our music. We’re not that good.”

“Naturally…” (note: install ejector seat)

“And what if someone steals our #masterthreece before its officially released ?!?!”

“Your what ?!?!?  Oh… right a ‘masterthreece’ yeah I get it… Look fellas, here’s the deal: No one gives a shit about your song or your band right now, except you three and possibly me. So if you want to change that, I kinda need to hear the song.”

“But you might laugh”

“At this point, I certainly hope so…”

Our New Trajectory for Launch

Here’s what we have in mind for our very first actual public release of music on a major platform, given the current circumstances, with the song above, Conspiracy:

• Best mixdown we can make of the song (we are clearly amateur DIY)
• Make a quick video for the radio cut (shorter) version (don’t overthink it)
• Release the song as our first and only video on YouTube asap (within 48hrs?)
• Light the fuse across Twitter and YT replying to (current) ufo / balloon / conspiracy threads
• Keep the Mar.1 release plan for the EP itself
• Release the extended (EP cut) at that time
• Be ready to launch countermeasures and drop the contingency song if necessary

We’re not looking for viral success – we have jobs, wives, kids and lives. We are simply DIY-ing our own musical launch as best we can.

What are your thoughts on the band’s situation and plan – such as it is ???

Send to: 3mancult@gmail.com